Thursday, October 2, 2014

7 stories

by nick nelson

illustrations by pete palomine studios


"i expected nothing from you, clarice, and you have not disappointed."


the zombie

"look at that guy, he just won't give up."

"are you sure it's the same guy?'

"it's the same guy, he was in here last night and the night before. hey, asshole! hey, dickbrain! yeah, you! that's the most pathetic costume i ever saw! "

"leave the poor bastard alone."


the quick and the dead

"stop stirring your coffee like that. you're driving me crazy."

"it's just a habit."

" it's a habit you better stop."




parker was afraid. all the time, of everything.

when people met her and she told them her plight, most were sympathetic.

but they quickly grew tired of her constant whining and paranoid fantasies, especially as the fantasies had no originality.

she was left alone with her cat.

her cat possessed by demons.



jerry did not care much for his fellow humans.

he wished he could live in the desert.

but there were no doughnuts in the desert.

jerry liked doughnuts and could not live without them.


just for a thrill

when norbert was nine years old, he found a can of lighter fluid and talked his friends ralphie and ernesto into setting geraldine jefferson on fire.

at the juvenile court hearing, norbert's mother described him as a sweetie pie.


the joke's on you

"you thought it was free? no."


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