Friday, October 31, 2014

Thursday, October 23, 2014

green light/not really an american

by timmy t jones

she was one of those people you just like to be around.

she was one of the original five, or one of the original six. this fascinated me.

we were headed uptown to the airport. then she remembered frank or billy, he was like a father or a brother to her. we went back downtown to look for him.

we split up to look for him. i was walking along a construction site and these punks were laughing and coming toward me with plastic bags of blue paint. they were going to paint me blue. then there were only two of them and i got away

we were going back uptown. she was driving. i thought, i'll never understand the traffic in this town. the light was red. three guys came up behind us on the sidewalk, the two on the outside holding up the one in the middle. he didn't look drunk, more like he was spastic or had serious problems. they were laughing about something - " that sounds like something you would hear at macdonalds".

something about playing ball - i didn't get it because i'm not a real american. the guy on the outside turned into a fish/basketball and floated on his back in the gutter.

the light turned green. i started to know it was a dream. i woke up. i never saw her again. i never knew who she was.

Monday, October 6, 2014

questionnaire, part 7: agreements

to begin at the beginning, click here

for previous entry, click here

26. ) which of the following statements do you agree with? please check all that apply.

god is love

love is the answer

only love can break your heart

it is nobody's business who you love

it is nobody's business how you love

a woman's place is in the home

a man's home is his castle

children should be seen and not heard

it will all be the same a thousand years from now

you can't beat city hall

don't criticize someone if you haven't walked in their shoes

people should mind their own business

a dog is a man's best friend

all cats are gray in the dark

eve ate the apple

religion makes people good

religion makes people bad

hitler was a bad person

mother teresa was a good person

albert einstein was a smart person

marilyn monroe was a sexy person

everybody will be famous for fifteen minutes

nobody can tell another person what to do

money can't buy happiness

right wingers are soulless psychopaths

racists and sexists and homophobes should be sent to reeducation camps

a woman's body is her own

everybody has a right to sex

everybody has a right to love

rape is about power

eating meat is about power

rapists and child molesters don't deserve trials

child molesters should be disemboweled and burned alive

capitalism is the root of all evil

capitalism is rape

the truth will out

life is sacred

life is what you make it

death is not the end

all religions are the same

all people are the same

all living creatures exist in a dance of love

columbus discovered america

there is no free lunch

the truth will set you free

a broken watch tells the right time twice a day

god bless america

support the troops

all power to the people

the people have taken to the streets

the streets belong to the people

always be for the underdog

jewish bankers rule the world

fags are against nature

muslims are savages

white people should go back to europe

black people should go back to africa

negroes were better off being slaves

asian people should go back to china

white people should be made slaves for two thousand years

god made everyone equal

all living creatures are equal

evolution is a lie created by satan

god is a white man who eats steak and plays golf

everybody needs a little fun once in a while

it's a long road that has no turning

people are bad, they should be good

real marxism has never been given a chance

the important thing is to care

when there is no more room on earth, the damned will go back to hell


Saturday, October 4, 2014

8 stories

by nick nelson

illustrations by pete palomine studios

the lion

eddie was laid off.

he went to the zoo every day to see the lion.

the lion never seemed to recognize him.



marcia wondered if she would ever become rich or famous.


young at heart

on miranda's sixtieth birthday, she received a birthday card from ellen philips , a girl - obviously now a woman - whom she had not heard from since high school.

how strange.


i told you so

sherri went out with paul for five months before discovering he was married.

she decided to take the beginner's beauty class at the y with amanda after all.



jerri was sick and tired of the way donna wasn't doing her share.

she decided to get her good.

even if it meant going to jail.



roberta hated the night shift.

she hated walking the block from the bus stop at four in the morning.

she especially hated the cat in the window.



"don't you like my kitty?"

"of course i do."



"i wouldn't mind if these young people had no sense of style, if only they weren't so damned rude and full of themselves."


Thursday, October 2, 2014

7 stories

by nick nelson

illustrations by pete palomine studios


"i expected nothing from you, clarice, and you have not disappointed."


the zombie

"look at that guy, he just won't give up."

"are you sure it's the same guy?'

"it's the same guy, he was in here last night and the night before. hey, asshole! hey, dickbrain! yeah, you! that's the most pathetic costume i ever saw! "

"leave the poor bastard alone."


the quick and the dead

"stop stirring your coffee like that. you're driving me crazy."

"it's just a habit."

" it's a habit you better stop."




parker was afraid. all the time, of everything.

when people met her and she told them her plight, most were sympathetic.

but they quickly grew tired of her constant whining and paranoid fantasies, especially as the fantasies had no originality.

she was left alone with her cat.

her cat possessed by demons.



jerry did not care much for his fellow humans.

he wished he could live in the desert.

but there were no doughnuts in the desert.

jerry liked doughnuts and could not live without them.


just for a thrill

when norbert was nine years old, he found a can of lighter fluid and talked his friends ralphie and ernesto into setting geraldine jefferson on fire.

at the juvenile court hearing, norbert's mother described him as a sweetie pie.


the joke's on you

"you thought it was free? no."