carter

it was some kind of seminar. it was dark. all the presidents of the united states were there. on the second day there would be all the popes, and the day after that all the kings and queens of england. security was rigorous. security men in brown suits were everywhere. i found myself at a table with four other people - four faceless schmoes like myself, two men and two women. i realized there were five of us at a table for four and the others all seemed to know each other so i got up and tried to find someplace else to sit. i ended up sitting on the floor bedside the door. people were still pouring in, closely watched by the security men in their brown suits. but they were not frisking anybody or asking any questions. they had not frisked me or asked me any questions. the presidents of the united states were somewhere around, but i didn’t see any of them. finally the presentation began. the lights were not turned on. there was some kind of slide show, but from my seat on the floor beside the door i couldn’t see it. just a little bit of white light glancing off a screen. a voice said something about “carter” and everybody laughed. i didn’t know if they were talking about president jimmy carter or carter who made the little liver pills. ***

something from nowhere - part one: the director's cut

people think just because dad is the greatest scientist in the world that he’s some kind of nut. i assure you, miss, that we have nothing but the greatest respect for professor coppington’s achievements. nevertheless, it is our job to ask a few questions. we hope you understand. i understand only too well, sir. i have dealt with your kind before. i am sorry, miss, but i don’t understand your attitude. the professor’s achievements, and the just renown he has received for them, were made possible by the freedoms he enjoys in our society. the very freedoms he - and you - seem disinclined to defend. that was a fine speech, murdock. the director would be proud. but i think the young lady knows the score. our work here is done. we thank you for your time, miss, and your hospitality, and are sorry we could not reach a better understanding. dad, they are finally gone! i was so frightened! how peaceful the desert looks… what terrible secrets it holds! we have no time to lose. they will return - perhaps in a matter of hours. give this message to mansfield. only to mansfield, do you understand? i may as well vacuum the rug while i am waiting. i wonder if i have time to say goodbye to goldie. professor coppington was known as “mister johnson” to the employees of the wild and free club. goldie’s not here today, mister johnson. she called in sick. a lifetime of running and hiding stretched out before professor coppington . he had to see goldie - the only person in the world who understood him - one more time. the professor knew the feds were closing in on him, but as the long afternoon wore on he found he could not move . where was goldie? the fate of humanity - perhaps of the universe - was in the balance, but still the professor waited… and waited… the professor expected to be blinded by the sunlight when he stepped out of the wild and free club, but night had fallen. there he is, murdock shouted, almost spilling his coffee. i thought he died in there. hearing murdock’s cry, the professor calmly walked past his own car and into the shadows behind the parking lot.

snow pizza

by timothy t jones

a differently formatted version appeared in all humans are the same on october 12, 2008

i hadn't seen my mom in years, or thought about her much, so i was a little surprised when she showed up at the house. she had two new kids, a guy and a girl in their twenties. the guy was a big dufus, the girl ordinary looking with little squinty eyes. i didn't get their names. i had other things on my mind. i had a great new job, delivering pizza. i was going to deliver my first one. it looked kind of pale for a pizza, and was floating around on the plate. i went out the door and down the street, and it started to snow. i decided to go back in the house and cover it up and warm it up - i still had plenty of time. while i was waiting i got into a conversation with someone, aunt somebody or maybe my mom - it was kind of strange, her coming back after all those years. then it was time to go. i went to get the pizza and my dufus new half-siblings had eaten half of it!! oh no! what was i going to do! my first day on the job, my first delivery and i messed it up! i looked around, there was no way to cook another half a pizza on time! i was so embarassed! i really needed this job! it was over before it began! i looked at the phone. it looked back at me.

sinister destinies - july-august 1951

the duke knew that samantha was just teasing

a differently formatted version of this was posted in the waitress and the satanist on january 22, 2010

additional dialogue by allen toussaint, j t "funny paper" smith, merline "the yas yas girl" johnson, and sergio leone

beautiful, isn't she?" "haven't we been over this before? didn't we just have this conversation?" the duke put his hand on samantha's arm and steered her away from the center of the party to the little coffee table in front of the french windows. after samantha had made herself comfortable on the low divan, or maybe it was the high settee, they resumed their conversation in a more amiable manner. in the center of the party, near the bar, harry and jake continued their heated argument. "we sit here in club chairs, while a few hundred yards away, murder is being done for pennies - for a few grains of opium." "but we aren't sitting in club chairs, harry, we are standing at the bar at the duke of r------------'s monthly get together, getting trashed." "that's true, that's true. a great distinction. you know, i think i've had too much to drink." "me too. let's get some fresh air." harry looked around. "is there any?" "let's get some outside air. outside." "that's where the air is," samantha fingered the little green pincushion doll with the hong kong eyes and the istanbul hair as she watched harry and jake make their way with surprising resolve and singlemindedness to the windows behind her. she kept her eyes averted as they passed directly behind her. "look at this one." the duke picked up another little doll, a red one with white eyes and the blue uniform of one of alexander i's hussars. it held a golden baton in one hand and a pair of gardener's shears in the other. "a little elaborate for my taste," samantha murmured politely. "but it must have a history behind it." "maybe your drink has cooled off." outside of hundreds of dead men she is waiting for you polyethylene "he shot that no good hoss." "she's waiting for you upstairs." "this isn't a half bad party." "but it's the duke of r----------'s. it should be good." "there you go again - betraying your enslavement to the culture of expectation." harry breathed the outside air. "it's not that fresh." he told jake. jake took out his trusty old .45. it had been weighing him down all night. harry took out his brand new silver plated .357 that his grandmother had given him on her death bed. it had the initials "p e" engraved on it. nobody knew what they meant. "let's do it.' jake nodded. "it's time." piranhas 'how much?" "but the woman is a saint." of hundreds of dead men worn with the heels packing company "he shot that no good hoss." harry went around to the right, jake to the left. there was no breeze. outside "that's the first time i've heard the word saint used without irony since - since - " "but the age of irony is over." outside forever "he shot that no good hoss." in the hallway she's waiting for you hundreds of dead men she's waiting for you "i've only got fifteen.' "fifteen what? and you will have to speak louder.'' the gray carpet forever outside 'what i've got is worth more than fifteen." in the hallway the white fog 'there is no history behind it at all. one of the maids made it this morning. i thought it had a little air about it." "the maids have time to make dolls? what would the old duchess, your grandmother, have thought of that?" "well, with the labor saving devices they have these days -" "you allow your servants to use labor saving devices?" the duke knew that samantha was just teasing and he smiled. 'if you only knew how sore my legs get." the gray carpet the gray carpet forever in the hallway worn with the heels the white fog "he shot that no good hoss" the jockeys heard the shots and came running. "you want to play?" the maid - the one who had made the hussar doll - and the young marquis were playing a video game in one of the upstairs bedrooms. "no, it's all i did for twenty years in prison." the maid's son was seated in the old duchess's favorite armchair, which had been moved upstairs on her recent demise. 'a sepoy is more loyal than an irishman at any rate," "at any rate." jake looked around the corner. it began to rain. but not, he noticed, at the far corner of the house, which harry would be coming around. harry had always had all the luck, especially with gloria and ever since gloria. it started to rain harder. with his trusty old .45 held at his the gray carpet of hundreds of dead men piranhas polyester "you were in prison for twenty years?" the young marquis asked jacques. "yes.' "and all you did was play video games? "when i wasn't working in the kitchen, yes." two shots rang out in the white hall on the gray carpet in the rain on the far corner "if i could pick a few winners i'd be all right." worn with the heels the white fog in the hallway "how many men did you kill in prison?" "none, it wasn't a movie." "harry the horse and jake the snake. a couple of right villains." "actually sir i think they are - were - harry the haberdasher and jake the bricklayer - if you don't mind my saying so, sir." two shots rang out piranhas on easter island in pursuit of a "well, it's all the same now anyway, innit?" "we watched the same movies you did." "did ypu know these gentlemen, sir?" "yes. i did." 'i believe they were harry the haberdasher and jake the bricklayer - a pair of notorious malefactors." "as a matter of fact they were harold anderson, who owned a chain of home appliance stores in colorado and new mexico, and jackson johnson, the owner and managing partner of a fuel cell business in haverford, pennsylvania. i've known them both for twenty-five years." "how many times did you have totally hot man sex with the other inmates?" "never." "liar liar pants on fire." "rude little devil, isn't he?" jacques asked his mother. "he is a marquis." "that's no excuse for bad manners." "we'll sort it all out at headquarters, sir." "we watched the same movies you did."

an unfinished tale

by bofa xesjum