how to write a novel - 4. eddie and henry

by bofa xesjum

part 4 0f ?

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as the two figures approached each other on the empty road in the middle of nowhere, the red sun rose in the purple sky. the first figure - stop. excuse me? give these two characters better names. if you like, i will give them names. thank you, that is very generous. the first person is eddie hicks, and the second one is henry entwhistle, please proceed. * eddie hicks, the greatest warrior who ever lived, was born by a river in a little shack, and raised in the desert by an old mama mountain lion. were there mountains in the desert? there must have been if there were mountain lions there. go on. the mountains were inhabited by savage creatures called bobos. in rainy seasons, plaintains grew plentifully in the mountains, and the bobos were content to sit under the trees on the mountainsides and eat them. but in times of drought, the plantains and other fruits were not so plentiful and the bobos descended down onto the plains and hunted the lions and humans and bears and wolves who lived beside the river. what did the lions and bears and humans eat? the humans. and what did the humans eat? whatever they could get. why didn’t the bears and lions and wolves just eat all the humans? they had to let them get fat enough to be worth eating. like humans do with pigs and cows and chickens in today’s so-called modern world. how did eddie hicks become the greatest warrior who ever lived? all in good time, my friend, all in good time. fair enough, what about henry entwhistle? * henry entwhistle was a different story altogether. was he the second greatest warrior who ever lived? no he was the - did you hear something? i can not say that i did. listen - to be continued

how to write a novel - 3. the wanderers

by bofa xesjum

part 3 0f ?

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he was a strange man, lost in an empty land. the land had once been the site of a great empire. but he could not remember anything else. harsh. he could remember the word harsh. the emperor was harsh - emperor harsh vii. and his own name was - his own name was - i can do this, he thought, i can remember my name - 2188 - twenty-one - eighty-eight! mightiest of warriors! but - did i destroy the empire., or did the empire destroy me? just then he saw a figure approaching on the horizon. so at least i am not alone. do you fear being alone, mighty warrior? i fear nothing. i am happy to hear that. and i am happy to hear your voice again, the figure became more distinct. a lone figure, walking on two feet. another warrior? * he was an ordinary man, lost in an ordinary world. suddenly the ordinary world vanished, and he was walking down a road in the middle of nowhere. his name was - or had been - siddhartha omarkhayyam. that did not sound quite right. besides, what did he need a name for, out in the middle of nowhere, with nobody to tell the name to? suddenly he saw a figure approaching in the distance. next

how to write a novel, part 2

by bofa xesjum

part 2 0f ?

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bob is walking down the street and meets joe. bob is wearing a green hat. joe is wearing black shoes and carrying a brown briefcase. bob says to joe, it is a nice day today. joe replies, yes, it is. they go their separate ways, bob back to his house, and joe to the bus stop where he will get the number 33 bus which will take him to within a block of his office. * the next day. joe is walking down the street and meets bob. bob is a nice guy and is wearing a purple hat and a red tie and a green backpack. he wishes everybody in the world could just get along. his favorite movie is the terminator, starring arnold schwarzenegger. joe is wearing a tan suit and red shoes and is carrying the same brown briefcase he was carrying the day before. joe is a jerk, and hates most of the human race, especially women. his favorite movie is a made for tv remake of the magnificent seven. bob says to joe, it is a nice day again today, and i see you are carrying the same brown briefcase that you had yesterday, even though you are wearing different colored shoes. it is a nice day, joe agrees. and you are a very observant person. the world would be a better and more efficient place if everyone in it was as observant as you. is joe being sarcastic? it is hard to tell. they go their separate ways, bob to mcdonalds to get two egg mcmuffins and a cup of coffee, and joe to the bus stop where he will get the number 33 bus which will take him to within a block of his office. * do you find bob and joe at all interesting? no. are they sympathetic? do you like either or both of them? no. do you wish to know more about either of them? no. i am sorry. do you think i should start over? that is up to you. what might make joe and bob more interesting? here are some suggestions: make joe a) a mighty warrior b) a horticulturist c) a clown at children’s parties d) an architect of a new world order and bob a) a homicide detective b) a mighty barbarian c) a bellhop in a grand hotel d) a follower thank you. i might try that. part 3

how to write a novel, part 1

by bofa xesjum

part 1 of ?

1. pick a letter at random. 2. pick a word starting with that letter. you may use a dictionary 3. write a sentence of 2 to 14 words, including that word, but leaving any characters’ names blank. 4. insert the characters’ names, if any. 5. briefly elucidate the first sentence. 6. continue 7. explain the situation 8. describe the first character 9, describe the second character, if any 10. describe any other characters, or introduce a new one. 12. describe the first encounter, if any, between the second and third characters. 12-a. if there are only two characters, describe their second encounter. 13. is the first character a sympathetic person? explain 14. is there any reason for a reader to take an interest in any of the characters so far? explain. 15. if the answer to 14) is yes., continue to part 2. if the answer is no, start over. 16. for chapter 2, repeat step 1 17. repeat step 2 18, repeat step 3, but characters from chapter 1 may be inserted in any blanks. 19. insert new character’s names, if needed 20. repeat steps 6 through 10 21. describe an encounter between any two introduced characters 22. describe another encounter between any two or more characters 23. are any new characters sympathetic or unsympathetic? explain 24. repeat steps 14 and 15 25, for third and any succeeding chapters, repeat steps 17 through 23 26. keep going until you feel you have done enough part 2

the wind and the rain - cast of characters

by nick nelson

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joe, a wanderer mrs murphy lee, a conjure woman grover, a pickup truck driver astrid, a waitress pop, a proprietor tank, a guard and enforcer claudia, an orphan aunt edith, an impoverished heiress cousin jeffrey, an impoverished heir mrs cole, a cook richardson robinson, an adventurer and idealist aunt arlene. an aunt cousin waldo, a cousin uncle chester, an uncle marlowe, a butler harold brown, a friendly fellow walter wilson, harold’s twin, an attorney mr amenhotep, a financier clyde hooper, a clumsy boy daisy dempster, an angry girl mrs melody mason, a schoolmistress jack, a future ruler of the world bucky, a dog constance johnson, a trainer of world rulers and a well dressed woman briggs, her assistant sir john, a responsible person jill. a companion to jack zenobia, a maid zobo, an assistant red, a drver white, blue, and green, passengers

the wind and the rain - 00. the summons

by nick nelson

part 00 of ?

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you wished to see me, mother? yes, i did. well, here i am. do you want to know why i wanted to see you? i am sure you will tell me. i am leaving you. doctor ellis tells me i have a few days at most. i am sorry to hear it. i thought that might be the reason. but i did not want to distress you by asking. that was very thoughtful. i have some instructions for you before i go. i thought you might. i have two things i wish you to do. first, i wish you to become president of the united states. if the united states becomes part of the world federation, i wish you to become the president, or whatever title is used - the head of that august body. do you understand? of course. and the second thing? listen closely. when you have achieved that goal, i wish you to use your power to ——- next

the wind and the rain - 32. the fourth car

by nick nelson

part 32 of ?

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the same dark night, or another one. a fourth car approaches from the west on an empty country road. a 1935 duesenberg. red is driving. white sits in the front passenger seat. blue and green sit in the back. they drive along. silence. it begins to rain. fog settles on the road. a hitchhiker appears. the auto passes the hitchhiker by. the auto proceeds down the road. the rain gets heavier. white, blue, and green begin to curse red for losing the way. things proceed in this way. the road gets narrower and the night gets darker. white says i think i see something ahead. blue replies - at last! suddenly a building appears - an abandoned barn? red says i think we should push on. and is shouted down and overruled by the three passengers. they stop and enter the building . fade out ************** next